Apr 9 2013

10 Things I’ve Learned About Being A Preacher’s Wife

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I don’t think preacher’s wives are understood by most people. Before knowing anything about her, people will always have expectations, sometimes unrealistic ones, of her. Some people will judge her unfairly if she doesn’t turn out to be exactly what they were expecting. Some people will be shocked when they discover that she, just like everyone else, is very much human—full of flaws, quirks, and antics…but also talents, skills, and most of all, feelings—as vulnerable as the next girl.

I was richly blessed to be able to grow up watching what I consider to be the very best example of what a preacher’s wife ought to be. My mother was the epitome of selflessness, courage, wisdom, and grace. She was a constant help-meet and homemaker for her husband and children, a wise leader of women—both by example and in leadership roles, a caretaker for the sick, a passionate evangelist for the lost, and so many other wonderful things. She made it all look so easy, and she never complained about the many roles she filled.

Now that I’m in the preacher wife shoes, I admire her all the more, because there are some things that I really didn’t realize as solidly before as I do now. Here are some things I presume most preacher’s wives wish someone had told them before they became such:

  1. Prepare to be criticized a lot, and prepare to comfort your husband when someone criticizes him. You will always be the perfect target for those looking for someone to blame. When you sign up to be a preacher’s wife, you sign up to place yourself in the constant line of fire.
  2. You WILL be watched all the time. That “my life is a fishbowl” thing is no joke. Whether or not they mean to, members of the church will always be critiquing you.
  3. There are some really mean people who claim to be Christians. Don’t be shocked when a member or two of the church where your husband preaches don’t turn out to be the picture of kindness and love toward you.
  4. Your husband needs you to be his cheerleader WAY more than you can even imagine. You are his rock—his support—his shoulder—his refuge. Your support, respect, and encouragement means more to him than anything else in the entire world. He needs to know you’re on his team, every step of the way. And sometimes he just needs a backrub. Don’t slack on this point.
  5. Make your home a fortress of peace and security. I struggle with staying on top of keeping a clean and orderly house, but an organized haven of rest and security is a desperate need of my neat-freak husband who labors tirelessly for the cause of Christ. Make sure your living room is the kind of place your minister can dream about coming home to while he’s slaving away at the office. Burn those candles and welcome him home with open arms and a kiss when he’s ready to leave his stress behind for the night. This isn’t just about him—when he’s able to relax, you can too, and, if for nothing else, that makes it so worthwhile. In addition to making it livable for your man, it’s also super convenient for you whenever your husband calls and says, “Hey, can we have Jane Doe over for a Bible study? She’ll be here in 20 minutes” or “Hey, I just got a call from Brother Jones from Elizabethtown and he’s passing through…can he stop by for a cup of coffee with us?” Don’t get mad—just try (keyword try—we all have our messy days) to be prepared for spontaneous drop-ins.  Which brings me to my next point…
  6. Your schedule will never be normal again. If you plan on being involved in your husband’s great work, expect the unexpected. Don’t be so focused on an hour-by-hour schedule that you’re completely sidetracked when a need comes up that you’re called upon to meet. Flexibility is an absolute MUST. Time is something you just have to be willing to sacrifice frequently.
  7. You will need to expand your comfort zone in a major kind of way. Try not to say “no” when given opportunities to serve or to lead. Your husband needs you to minister alongside him, not just clap from the sidelines. While you’re always his cheerleader, sometimes you have to get your hands dirty and just be a team player. Be willing to say yes to things you never thought you’d be able to do. With every “yes,” that servant type of commitment will become easier and easier. And inevitably, the rewards, though rarely material, are rich.
  8. Make time for just you and God every day. Plain and simple prayer and Bible study. While this is important for everyone, it’s especially vital for people heavily involved in the work of the church. Without some daily perspective of why we do what we do everyday, you will doubtless get burnt out and just want to give up when things get hard.
  9. Down-time is essential. While you will find yourself busier than ever before with things you (and everyone, really) should be doing for the church, you can’t successfully handle it all without some sincere relaxation every now and then. Allow yourself little luxuries sometimes. Do something you really enjoy doing every week. Vent to your best friend sometimes. My husband (who is also my best friend) and I like to cuddle on the couch and just talk and maybe watch one of our favorite shows while we unwind from the hectic events of the day. When we do this, I am able to relax, sleep SO much better, and am much better prepared to face whatever stresses are awaiting me the next day.
  10. Just be yourself. Cliché, I know, but so important. If you’re like me, you will find yourself trying to please everyone at the same time. You’re human. You want everyone to look at you and think, “Now THAT is the perfect minister’s wife,” but, I’m sorry to tell you….this will never happen. You will never be able to please everyone, but if you are sincerely doing your best to be kind and love God more than anything, people will see that and true Christians will love you for who you are and Whose you are.

Preacher’s wives, remember why we’re doing this. Romans 10:15 says, “…how beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” If you have a God-fearing preacher who loves souls as a husband, count it at the top of your blessings.

Thoughts? What would you add to the list?

Apr 3 2013

Different

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Recently, I heard a Christian say in reference to impure forms of entertainment, “Well, Christians should be careful, but I think that we should not just completely remove ourselves from worldly entertainment, because then we won’t know how to relate to people. If we don’t watch the same TV shows and movies that everyone else does, we will lose our influence because we will just look like out-of-date sticks in the mud.”

I immediately started thinking, “Okay, so I guess that means we should all be having extramarital sex, so we’ll relate to the world better. I guess we should all start using profanity so we’ll be up-to-date with everyone else—we’re watching it on TV anyway. I guess we should stop trying to make it a point to dress modestly—people will think we’re just old-fashioned.”

I didn’t say anything right then, because I was afraid it would be said out of anger instead of out of a loving, gentle spirit. I went home, frustrated, and thought even more about what she said. You see, God didn’t really beat around the bush when he told us to be different. He was very specific in His word about wanting his bride to be  “without blemish (I Peter 1:19),” “a peculiar people (I Peter 2:9),” and “not conformed to this world (Romans 12:2).” Not once did he say, “Be careful that you don’t avoid sin so much that people think you’re weird.” Not once did he say, “make sure you participate in enough sinful activity to fit in so you can influence people.” God has made it painfully clear that he wants us to stand out. The only way that we will ever influence others for Christ is if they can see Christ when they look at us. Good luck ever trying to convert someone to Christianity after you’ve willfully participated in the same sinful activity as the world.

And as fuddy-duddy as it sounds, God wasn’t silent about our entertainment choices, either. No, they didn’t have movies, TV, or radio when any part of the Bible was written, but he was pretty clear about the kinds of stuff with which he wanted us filling our minds. “Abstain from every appearance of evil” (I Thes. 5:22) type verses are not exactly blurry.

I would love to say to all young people making an effort to live righteously: You’re doing the right thing. Christianity is an all-or-nothing endeavor. Don’t let anyone bully you into thinking that a full overhaul of self in order to fill yourself with Christ is “too much.” It’s not too much. It’s exactly what Christ asked of us.

I’m reminded of a poster that hung on my door all through high school and college and reminded me of why I was different. This is what it said:

I am a part of the “Fellowship of the Unashamed.” The die has been cast. The decision has been made. I have stepped over the line. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense and my future is secure. I’m finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap giving and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, love with patience, live by prayer and labor with power.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my Guide is reliable and my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won’t give up, shut up, let up or slow up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up and spoken up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner is clear: I am a part of the “Fellowship of the Unashamed.”

Don’t just be a part-time Christian. Make it real. Make it everything.

Don’t let others confuse you. Don’t make excuses. Just live for God. Give Him all of you. 100%. If you don’t feel different, and if you don’t feel somewhat persecuted at times, you’re doing it wrong (II Timothy 3:12).

Isaiah 5:20 says this: “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!”

Don’t get the two mixed up.

 

Apr 1 2013

Did You Mean To Say That?

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Sometimes I feel like Christians don’t think about how their words sound to others—especially on Facebook. I’ve noticed that many of my Facebook friends (and non-Facebook friends too) who claim the name of Christ are quick to condescendingly mock, belittle, and assign motives to other people who wear the same name and have taken a stand on some moral and/or political issue. Just to be clear, let me give you a few examples of this:

Example #1: A couple of months ago, the president of my alma mater, Freed Hardeman University, made a public statement that in effort to appear modest and to avoid causing young Christian men to stumble in their walk with God, the school’s cheerleaders would wear pants from now on, as opposed to the mini-skirts they’ve worn for several decades now. You can read about this announcement here.

Immediately after the news was out, my Facebook newsfeed was busy with the status updates of current and former FHU students who were ridiculing, mocking, and belittling this announcement. They made it a point to not only make fun of the school for taking this moral stand, but also the people who posted appreciation for this decision.

Example #2: A few weeks ago, my husband conducted a question and answer session at our congregation. This happens every month—people submit questions prior to the event, and my husband answers them from a Biblical standpoint on those scheduled Q&A services. My husband never writes, or persuades others to write, his own questions. They are always questions that members of the congregation ask. At this particular Q&A night, the question was asked whether it was wise (notice it was worded “is it wise” and not “is it sinful”) for a New Testament Christian to attend Christian rock concerts or to listen to Christian rock music on the radio. He spent a liberal amount of time talking about why we, as members of the church of Christ, do not allow musical instruments to become a part of our worship. Then he carefully picked apart the question. His answer was that, because it would be difficult not to worship when listening to songs of praise paired with instruments, and because it might appear inconsistent to non-Christians who saw us listening to Christian rock while not allowing instruments into our church building, it was probably a good idea for us to avoid listening to those types of songs. What surprised everyone was that after that service, a tenderhearted woman in her 70’s came forward and asked for prayers and forgiveness because she listened to Christian rock on the radio. My husband was very careful in relaying this to the congregation, and just simply said that we should love and appreciate anyone who has the kind of heart that wants nothing more than to do what’s right. He never called this particular issue a sin, mind you, but simply said what he believed was advisable for cautious Christians. Immediately after the service, and for several days after, many of our members went to that conscientious lady and told her she was silly for going forward. They told her she should ignore what my husband said and not worry about her salvation at all. Some of them wrote less than pleasant emails to my husband in anger for the stand he took.

Example #3: A few weeks ago, I spoke at a girls’ youth rally about modesty and purity in the life of a teen girl. The next day, a mother of one of those girls came and told me that her teenage daughter had gone home that same day and cleaned out her closet of any clothing that might cause her brothers in Christ to stumble. The next weekend, I relayed this story to about 200 other teen girls in another city where I was speaking, and was hurt by the girls I saw laughing and making fun of that girl’s choice to be 100% modest. As soon as the event was over, I heard comments like “I bet that girl was like twelve years old…she’ll grow out of that” in reference to her fervor to do the right thing.

I could easily give plenty of other examples, like the scores of “Christians” I saw last week mocking those who chose to take a stand about the current same-sex marriage issue in our Supreme Court.

My point is this: It’s time for an attitude check, folks. Whether or not you agree with the moral stands other Christians take, it’s your job to do whatever it takes to make the Church look as good as possible to others. When you make fun of people of your same faith, you’re only hurting the cause of Christianity.

I understand that sometimes we disagree about the “gray areas,” and that’s perfectly okay—healthy even. But we as Christians must always caution ourselves to make sure we don’t sound haughty, condescending, or rude when we think it’s important enough to verbally disagree. This is especially true when disagreeing with someone on Facebook. For more thoughts on Facebook etiquette, please read this.

When I see another Christian make a stand with which I disagree, I try to remind myself that this person likely did so with a pure heart that wants nothing more than a home with God in heaven. It’s time we get ourselves out of the way so that we can see the big picture here. All that matters is helping others go to heaven. That’s it. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Before showing everyone how smart you are in a spirit of arrogance and spitefulness, ask yourself if you’re helping to accomplish that ultimate goal, or if you are just hurting feelings, assigning motives in the name of being right or just looking cool in order to fit in with your other self-righteous, arrogant friends.

I could talk all day long about this, but honestly, what’s the point when God said it so plainly:

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them…” –Matthew 7:12

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”—Colossians 4:6

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building  others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” –Ephesians 4:29

“But in your hearts, revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.” –I Peter 3:15

“I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.” –I Corinthians 1:10

So some of the words we need to keep in mind before we express ourselves are as follows: Gracious. Seasoned. Wholesome. Helpful. Building others up according to their needs. Beneficial. Gentle. Respectful. United with your brethren in Christ.

See, it’s not about me. It doesn’t really matter whether my opinion is the correct one. What does matter is that I do what God says, I strive to go to heaven, and bring as many people as I possibly can with me. Let’s all keep that in mind before we bring our points of view to the table. I don’t care how out of style the phrase is—we all need to constantly ask before speaking or acting—What would Jesus do?

May your words be sweeter this week than last week, and may you ever be growing stronger in your relationship with God. That’s truly all that matters!

Mar 29 2013

Thirty Pieces of Silver

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It’s Easter weekend. Time for dyeing Easter eggs, sporting our pastels and sandals (if you live in the South, that is), and for those who aren’t particularly religious, it’s a time to make it a point to go to church with family.

For those of us who take our relationship with God seriously, Easter, like every Sunday when we participate in communion, is a somber time to remember the sacrifice Christ made on our behalf.

While reading the accounts of the last few days and agonizing death of my Lord, I’m still brought to tears. The fact that He was God and yet so human makes me feel so close to Him through all of the excruciating pain, fear, and anxiety He experienced. I’m always amazed at how eagerly and wholeheartedly the people begged for and rejoiced in His physical execution.  It’s kind of the same sensation I experience when I study history of the Holocaust and shudder at just how many scores of people believed a lie and passionately followed, blindly, as their leader dictated to obliterate millions of innocent human beings. How could they not see how heinous Hitler’s plan and execution of that plan was? Similarly, how could the Hebrew people of Jesus’ time not see the love and the miraculous wonders that surrounded the Son of God? Did they just choose to be blind to the obvious?

Much more than even that, I cannot comprehend how someone who remained physically close to the Savior throughout his ministry, following Him as a disciple, could betray Him. We can reasonably infer that Judas watched as Jesus performed hundreds of miracles. Raising the dead, healing the sick, feeding 5000 with next to nothing, and so much more. He listened during all those intimate times after long days of teaching and healing as Jesus talked about His Father and the place He was preparing in heaven for those who serve Him. He watched as Jesus walked on the water like it was solid ground. He saw the skin of Jesus shine and glow as He was transfigured along with Moses and Elijah, who had died thousands of years prior.

Doubtless, Judas didn’t have to ever question if this man was truly the Messiah. He knew deep within his heart that he was in the very physical presence of the Son of God.

And yet, despite that solid assurance, he sold my Lord for 30 pieces of silver to people he knew would berate, abuse, humiliate, and slaughter Him—the Holy Lamb of God.

As I understand it (I hope Bible scholars will correct me), 30 pieces of silver is the equivalent of about $950 today. At that time, it would have been enough to purchase a small farm. It wasn’t going to give him significant riches or fame. It wasn’t going to give him a life free of labor. It wasn’t going to give him any clout as a great, revered figure.  What material desire could have been so important for Judas to betray the Son of God for $950? What kind of earthly trade, no matter how great, could compare to a life eternal with God? Was his trade worth it? Even for a moment, did Judas feel like it was worth it? He obviously thought it would be, as this was a premeditated agenda of selfishness and greed.

As ludicrous and gut wrenchingly shallow as that trade seems to you and I, many of us make similar trades that give Judas a run for his money.

Judas was willing to trade a relationship with God and a home in heaven for 30 pieces of silver.

What’s your 30 pieces of silver?

Is it materialism? Are you so concerned with climbing the corporate ladder, making a profit and planning your retirement that you don’t take the time to study and grow in your knowledge of God’s will for your life? Are you so focused on saving and hoarding what you earn that you don’t share what you have with those in need or to help the church in her works?

Is it pleasure? Are you giving in to Satan’s ploys to temporarily indulge your appetite for sexual fulfillment? Are you trading a relationship with God for a few minutes of pleasure here and there engaging in sexual activity that you think no one knows about? Maybe even when you’re completely alone in the privacy of your home? Maybe it’s an addiction you’re dealing with, whether it be pornography or sex outside of a God approved marriage. Is feeding that addiction rather than repenting and seeking help more important to you than a home in heaven?

Is it peer pressure? Are you so concerned with being “politically correct” that you’re willing to defend and embrace the sins of others in the name of “tolerance”? Are you so worried about being accepted by a majority that you’re willing to trade an eternity with God for a few short years of popularity and comfort on earth?

Maybe your 30 pieces of silver is entertainment. Maybe you’re so obsessed with the nation’s top movies, shows, and books that you don’t really care if they’re filled with profanity, promiscuity, lasciviousness, and glorified worldliness. Maybe you choose to block out whatever your conscience, or Christians concerned for your soul, as the case may be, say about the dangers of numbing your heart and mind to the media’s infatuation with sin. Maybe you tell yourself it doesn’t affect you. Even if your entertainment choices are pure and wholesome, are you spending more time invested in entertainment (movies, books, TV shows, music) than you invest in Bible study, prayer, and the church? Is it more important that you make it to that ball game or that vacation destination than it is to be present for the services of the Lord’s church? Is it more important to catch up on your favorite show than it is to catch up on your Bible study? Is spending time just hanging out with your friends more important to you than teaching them how to get to heaven?

Perhaps you’ve fallen into society’s mold of obsession over self. Perhaps your quest for culture’s definition of happiness, beauty, and comfort is your 30 pieces of silver. Perhaps you’d rather focus your attention on making yourself feel good that you’re just simply apathetic about Jesus. Christianity is just something you do, rather than being who you are.

Whatever your 30 pieces of silver is, you will one day look back on this short moment of an earthy life and ask yourself as you stand alone in the presence of God to hear him declare your eternal fate, was it worth it?

Judas realized moments after he heard the sound of those coins dropping in his greedy, bloodstained hands that no amount of earthly gain was worth betraying the Son of God, but it was too late. The deed was done.

Will we recognize the horror of our wicked trade before it’s too late? Or will we have to stand before God, just like Judas, and admit that we were willing to trade everything Christ died to give us for our 30 pieces of silver?

Hebrews 6:4-6 says “For it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the holy spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding Him up to contempt.”

I am Judas every time I sin. It’s my greedy, bloodstained hands that crucify afresh the Son of God.

Don’t fall into Judas’ trap. Whatever your 30 pieces of silver is, however much that means to you, it’s not worth it. It’s not a fair trade. It will never be a worthwhile investment.

Mar 28 2013

My 2 Cents on the Homosexuality Issue

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My husband wrote an article today that’s been shared like a thousand times and viewed like a million times. Okay, both of those numbers are slight exaggerations, but the point is, it’s been getting a lot of people thinking apparently. The reason is that it’s not your every day article. It’s about homosexuality, and as you all know, that’s quite the hot topic right now. If you haven’t seen it yet, here it is: “What Does The Bible Really Say About Homosexuality?”

I’m not going to write about what the Bible says about homosexuality. I’ve done that before and why say again what my brilliant, humble husband already just eloquently expressed? I’m going to take this in another direction.

Here’s the thing. I love gay people. LOVE them! I also love adulterers, fornicators, pedophiles, rapists, and murderers. I hate what they do, I despise their sin and the foothold Satan has on them, but I love them and want them to go to heaven.

I’ve read a lot of statements and arguments today from a lot of angry, rude people who are riled up over this particular issue. One of the arguments I read went something like this: “There are going to be gay people in America regardless of what the government says about it.  Giving them more legal rights isn’t going to change anything. And don’t harp on the sanctity of marriage either—straight married couples blew that a long time ago.”

I would just like us to all think about that statement for a moment. He’s right about that straight married couples thing. America looks a little silly using the sanctity of marriage argument at this point. Christians should still make that argument, of course, but our country doesn’t really have the right. After all, about half of American marriages end in divorce.

But there was a time, not too long ago, when divorce was something so shameful and rare that people only mentioned it in hushed tones. When my mom was a child, none of her friends at school were children of divorced parents, and the thought of her own parents divorcing was something she would have never imagined even in her wildest dreams. If someone did divorce back then, it was only because of scandalous adultery and everyone recognized adultery as sin.

Now, only a few short decades later, most children are growing up in broken homes. The new normal is heartbreaking environments in which children are raised by single parents, feel that they are a burden, feel like they have to take sides between two people who should be a solid rock of oneness, and other such childhood terrors which will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Also until relatively recently, most people didn’t even know what abortion was. In the 50’s, no one would have dreamed that today, over a million lives would be taken every year in America through abortion.

I could say similar things about other sins that are now widely accepted.

But divorce and abortion aren’t the issues right now, are they? Homosexuality is what’s on the table.

My question is this: What’s next?

John Wesley once said that “what one generation tolerates the next generation will embrace.”

We stress tolerance so much. It’s suddenly everyone’s favorite word. I always find it so funny how the people who stress tolerance seem to accept and embrace every lifestyle except that of the God-fearing Christian.

But if you look at our history, Wesley’s words ring true. Think about it. Divorce. Premarital sex. Abortion. Euthanasia. Sexual expression and experimentation. And now same-sex marriage. While these things have been around forever, the acceptance and “tolerance” of them in our nation is a new thing, relatively speaking.

Where will it stop?

The answer is this: It won’t stop. When America decides to legalize something that God calls “an abomination” (Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13), any other “abominable” action will inevitably become “acceptable.” Today rallies of people defend same-sex marriage. The next generation will defend pedophilia. The next, bestiality. The next, only God knows.

Sound crazy? Think twice. Go ask your grandfather if he ever thought the day would come when our nation would be so boldly and vocally defending the sins that it is. When there’s no standard, there are no boundaries to the power Satan can and will have over our nation.

What can we do about it?

I’m not really talking to those of you who claim no allegiance to God and His Word right now. What hurts me is when I see members of Christ’s body tolerating, and even defending, what God clearly calls sin. Since when did sin stop being sin?

I don’t know what you plan on doing about all of this, but this is my personal game plan:

Love. Love is always the answer. As I said previously, I love gay people.  I just want to know, how much do you have to hate someone to show “tolerance” and “acceptance” of a sin you know will keep them from going to heaven? You see, it’s love that will drive us as Christians to be what the world calls “intolerant.” It’s love that will drive us to call it sin, and then do whatever we can to help those people conquer and repent of that sin.

Don’t Bow To Peer Pressure. Remember Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? You think it was easy for them to stand alone amongst thousands who were bowing? Doubtless the reason why 99% of them were bowing to a phony statue the king conjured up was peer pressure alone. Don’t defend gay marriage just because it’s the cool thing to do. Take a stand for what’s right. Defend what’s right in letters to political leaders, letters to companies who are vocal in their support of one side or another, and simply among friends and colleagues

Pray. Pray for our nation. Pray for the leaders of our nation. I don’t know why people use the words, “It’s the least I can do” in reference to prayer. It’s the greatest thing you can do. And if there was ever was a need for it, it’s now.

Romans 12:9 reads “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.”

That’s the best advice I have to offer. Abhor evil. Hold fast to what is good.

 

 

 

 

Mar 26 2013

Salvation is Not a Crockpot

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I love anything that makes my life easier. Anything that will do my job FOR me. This is why I’m madly in love with things like my dishwasher, my washer and dryer, my crockpot, my microwave, my Kitchen-Aid mixer, Downy Wrinkle-Releaser Spray, cruise control, my GPS (Well really anything my iPhone will do for me—Siri is my best friend), the internet, and other modern time-savers that make my daily tasks so easy.

While these things make the everyday things a breeze, I think this easy, instant-gratification lifestyle that most of us live can make Christianity a lot harder. The devil has always been a master at distracting people from thinking about things like salvation, the consequences of sin, and eternity. But today, more than ever. He’s right there to make sure our days are filled with activity, entertainment, and obligations. I believe there was a time when Bible study, meditation, prayer, and just basic prioritizing were easier. Not too long ago, there was no Facebook, No Twitter, no TV….you get the idea.

Now before I start sounding like your grandma, let me just say that I’m writing this more for me than I am for you. I need to hear myself say it. A few weeks ago,  just within a few days of each other, the world lost three souls who I am confident went on to their reward in paradise. Mrs. Hope Shull focused her energies and talents on encouraging young people to fight the good fight. She was one of my biggest encouragers as a teenager and college student. She knew that living for God wasn’t easy, and she made it a point every day to inspire kids like me to see why we do what we do. She was never too busy to welcome you into her library office and just listen when you were discouraged. Mrs. Jane McWhorter was also an expert in encouragement. I remember times when she took the time to write me and edify me for no reason at all, and how much that meant to me. She was a Bible scholar, teaching scores of women through her published books, ladies days, classes and seminars. Her humble and selfless spirit, just like Mrs. Hope’s, made me want to be just like her. I was the closest, however, to the third soul we lost–a man named Arnold Wright. He didn’t write any books or conduct any gospel meetings—not here in the states anyway. He taught me to love souls. He taught me that nothing else matters except securing your own salvation and then seeking out people who love truth enough to accept it, so that you can share heaven with them one day. He taught me to get over myself and put myself in other peoples’ shoes.

But what these people taught me more than anything else is that no one else can do this whole Christianity thing for you. Our short time on this earth isn’t like a crockpot. We can’t just believe, repent and be baptized, and expect the hard part—living a faithful Christian life—to just get done on it’s own. There’s no quick fix for that. No one is going to do it for you while you live your life carelessly.

Philippians 2:12 says to “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” Your parents aren’t going to do that for you. It doesn’t happen just by going to church. Your salvation—my personal relationship with God—has to be a constant, daily, passionate all-in endeavor. Christianity can’t be something you do. It must be who you are.  It must be everything to you. That’s why, when referencing salvation, the Holy Spirit used words like “race,” “fight,” and “work” –all to be practiced with “fear and trembling.” None of that happens by accident. None of that happens without constant practice, self-examination, and ruthless determination…oh, and a little fear and trembling, as eternity is not something to sneeze at.

The passing of Mrs. Hope, Mrs. Jane, and Mr. Arnold broke my heart, as it did many others whose lives were touched by their examples. It’s my prayer that their deaths meant more than a crossing from this life to another. It’s my prayer that their passing, and the passing of every saint, causes us to reevaluate what we’re doing here on this earth. It’s just a fleeting moment of time in the eternal scheme of things.

I want to see them again. But I’ve got to remind myself daily that it won’t just happen by accident. It’s a race. They’ve won that race. I just have to keep running.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” ~Hebrews 12:1-2

 

hope

Hope, at my college graduation ^

jane

Mrs. Jane ^

.arnold

Arnold, who always made me laugh ^

 

Dec 20 2012

Murder

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I teach the teen girls at Cedar Springs (located in Louisville, Kentucky, where my husband and I moved over a month ago, for those who missed my Facebook updates about it). This past Sunday, all our hearts were heavy due to the recent shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut. In our class book, Straddling The Fence by Anita Whitaker, we were ready for the chapter on abortion. Rather than deviating from the book to discuss our feelings and reactions to the shootings, I thought the subject topic all too fitting, considering that brutal murder was the theme on all of our hearts already.

I opened by asking what their feelings were about the shooting, and they were very much ready to talk about it. Their responses, as I expected, ranged from statements like, “I just don’t understand why” to “It’s the most terrible thing I’ve ever heard of.” Their feelings, after all, match the entire world’s right now.

I then slowly asked the question, what is the difference between what happened at Sandy Hook and what happens when a baby is killed through abortion?

They were silent, they glanced at one another, and then unanimously responded, “There’s no difference. It’s the same thing.”

I asked them if they would feel differently about what happened if all the mothers of the children who died approved of what happened. If the mothers KNEW what was going to happen and approved it ahead of time, would the girls feel differently about it?

Naturally, their faces turned white with horror at the thought. “That would be horrible.” They responded.

I then said, “Okay, let’s say that, for some reason, an elementary school shooting like that wasn’t illegal. Let’s say it was just a common, accepted occurrence. Would you feel any differently about it then?”

Their horror increased as one girl replied, “I don’t even want to think about living in a world like that!”

I then asked them why then, do we (the world) all respond so appropriately (with grief and tears and overflowing respect for the dead and their families) to a group of children in an elementary school dying but not to the other children who were murdered in Connecticut that day, who made no national or local news. No celebrity tributes. No mournful Twitter posts.

The children I’m referring to are the babies of Connecticut who were murdered through abortion—around 38 of them.  Each year, approximately 14,000 abortions take place in the state of Connecticut alone. It’s not really our fault that we don’t grieve about that as we should. Abortion has become so accepted and common by the world’s standards that we barely even think about it. Many of us understand the brutality of it, but we feel helpless as individuals and don’t know what to do about it, so we just shut it out of our minds as much as possible.

I took the girls to Luke 1:41 where it mentions that when Elizabeth saw Mary, the babe leaped in her womb. I then took them to Luke 2:12 where it mentions the babe in the manger. What I brought to their attention was that in the original inspired language in which both of these passages were written, the word “babe” is translated the exact same way (“brephos” meaning “baby”). In other words, God sees no difference between life inside the womb and life outside the womb. You see, in God’s eyes, what’s inside your womb when you’re pregnant isn’t a “blob of tissue” or a “fetus,” but a baby, just like a one-year-old being rocked to sleep in his mother’s arms. No difference.

I then had them turn to I John 3:15 where it states (and I’m paraphrasing) that no murderer can go to heaven. I asked them what they believed murder to be. They replied, “Killing someone.”

So I asked, knowing they weren’t thinking this through, “Is all killing murder?”

Some of them nodded. I asked them if they’ve ever eaten a hamburger. They nodded. “Then, according to your definition, you’re all murderers, because someone, sometime, killed that cow for your burger.” They laughed and admitted, “Okay, not ALL killing is murder.”

We then discussed the definition of murder. Murder is the deliberate taking of innocent human life.  We cut that into sections and examined each part. “Deliberate”—Is it murder when you accidentally hit someone walking in the road when you can’t see them? No, that wasn’t deliberate. It was accidental. “Human”—is it murder when you shoot a deer and make venison jerky out of it? Gross maybe, but not murder. Animals are not humans. God intended for us to kill and eat animals. “Innocent”—When people are electrocuted for heinous crimes, is that murder? No, that’s the deliberate taking of life, but not innocent human life.

What about abortion? Does that fit the definition? Let’s look at it again. Murder: The deliberate taking of innocent human life. Is it deliberate? Absolutely. It doesn’t happen without the mother’s consent, and the doctor knows exactly what he’s doing when he takes the life of the baby. Is it innocent? Nothing in the whole world is more innocent and perfect than a baby. Everyone knows that. Is it human? By all means.

There were more massacres that took place in Connecticut than the one at Sandy Hook Elementary School, you see. One just as brutal and heartbreaking and WRONG as the other. The difference is, one was a complete and utter horrific shock and the other was planned, approved, and quiet within the four walls of an abortion clinic white-walled room, or of several such rooms—not just in Connecticut, but all over the world.

My goal wasn’t to cloud those girls’ minds with graphic scenes of doctors ripping off the limbs of living babies, though it was brought to their attention that this is what happens during one type of abortion. My goal was to combat what the world was telling them about abortion. That it’s simply “terminating an inconvenient pregnancy.” That it’s simply “removing the unwanted blob of tissue from the womb.” And the biggest lie of all, that it’s practically “painless.” Nothing could be more physically painful for the baby, and nothing could be more emotionally painful for the mother, for years to come, once she comes to terms with what she has done.

It’s my prayer that these girls, and all of us, will see the devastating truth of abortion (every bit as devastating as an elementary school shooting) for what it is, and that we will not be silent in our efforts to thwart society’s attempt to deceive us into thinking of it as anything but savage, merciless murder.

In the meantime, may we all remember to keep the families of the Sandy Hook victims in our prayers, especially during the holiday season, as they are experiencing unthinkable grief.

Sep 6 2012

Quasimodo, Georgia, and Florida

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Hello there, happy little blogosphere! It’s been a good day. I woke up at 6:20 by literally falling out of bed when my alarm (“Just A Dream” by Nelly. Appropriate, right?) sounded, the vibration shaking the phone off the bedside table along with my barely alive—mostly dead–body. Ben and I have lately become night owls during this transitional period of our life, and since I quit my job, 6:20 AM and I have become something like Wile E. Coyote is to Roadrunner. In my humble opinion, the world shouldn’t exist before 8:30. How will I ever be a mother? Anyway, the 6:20 incident was because I had an early-morning dental procedure (sounds worse than it is—I had a cavity) awaiting me downtown. Well, at least the early awakening was for something fun. I wish I could wake up for cavity fillings every morning!

After I left the dentist office with my mouth looking like a gummy worm, I ignored the urge to go home and wait it out until my anesthetic wore off and made my very important first-of-the-month (that turned out to be the fifth-of-the-month–Que Sera) Walmart trip. After a minute or two with my visor mirror, I decided the only way to reconcile the horror of my Quasimodo smile was to decidedly frown for three hours (until it wore off), making the droopy side look less droopy. I discovered something. Two things actually: 1. Perpetual frowning is EXHAUSTING. 2. The exhaustion of perpetual frowning is just not worth it. I gave it up after a few minutes and again began smiling at the people I passed (one side of my mouth up, the other down—like this only huge: ~). They smiled back, but bigger than is typical, which suggests that Quasimodo Hannah makes people happy. One more reason why I should get cavities more often.

I teach the 3 & 4 year olds at church, and tonight will definitely go down in history as my favorite class with them to date. Their humor and enthusiasm was a breath of fresh air. Every time I’m with them, I hear something funny. Tonight was no exception to that rule. We were talking about Numbers 21 and the poisonous snakes God sent to bite those annoying Israelites that, for the 800th time, were complaining again. Little Georgia Claire, in all her sweet innocence, looked mortified and begged the question, “Why would God do that to them?!” I explained, “Well, Georgia, God was punishing them because they weren’t obeying Him. And if we don’t live for God, then one day He will punish us, but not with snakes. If we don’t obey God, it will be very sad for us because we won’t get to go to….?” I begged their response.

Without missing a beat, a very solemn expression came over Georgia Claire and she immediately nodded and answered, “Florida.”

Now, as a disclaimer, I think her mistake was adorable and hilarious, as I implied when I relayed this incident to her parents. But as I was telling Ben about it in the car, I said, “You know, there’s a lot of adults in the world that make the same mistake.” He smiled and nodded like he always does when I say something cryptic that only makes sense in my head. But really, isn’t it sad how many people are so focused on the short time we have on earth that to them, Florida (or whatever vacation destination they prefer) is about as Heaven as it gets. When you work hard, make money, and do whatever it takes to make what’s outward beautiful—all so you can feel and look amazing when it’s vacation time, or even retirement time—it’s easy to forget that our lives here really are only like a second compared to the life after.  It’s funny how people talk so much about their vacations—planning, scheduling, and afterward recalling with tons of stories and facebook photo uploads—but the time most people spend planning ahead for ETERNITY (never-ending forever and ever….and ever) is little to none. I’m talking to myself here, too. How unfortunate if the people who know us (Christians) have heard us talk more about “Florida” (or anything else on this earth) than our eternal home?

Little Georgia’s precious mistake was a good reminder for me that, while all the mundane things I think about (like cavities and Quasimodo) may seem important to me, eternity really will come like a thief in the night (Matthew 24: 42-44) and it will be much more shocking than my 6:20 alarm. For those who aren’t prepared, the punishment will be far worse than any of the horrendous punishments you read about in your Old Testament (like the poisonous snakes). He’s the same just, fearsome God…the punishment is just delayed awhile.

Am I ready? Are you?

Don’t make Florida your heaven. Trust me, it’s a gimmick.

Sep 2 2012

A Note To Preacher’s Wives

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I’m a preacher’s wife. It has a few drawbacks with which I’m sure all preachers’ wives can relate but overall it’s a blessed and exciting life. It’s not something I planned for my life—in fact there was a phase I went through in which I next to swore I would never marry a preacher. I got over it, obviously, when I fell in love with a sweet guy that happened to be a preacher.

Anyway, my handsome preacher husband delivered a lesson tonight at church that got me thinking.  The topic was gossip and, while he was diplomatic as always in not making it a lesson for women, let’s be honest, it was a lesson for women. I say that because we all know that women struggle with gossip 110% more than men do. Not that men don’t or anything, but if they do, I’m not really aware of it, God love ‘em.

I’m not going to write a blog about gossip and why it’s wrong. If you don’t know gossip is wrong, perhaps this isn’t the blog for you. What’s on my mind is gossip as it relates to preachers wives. I discussed this over dinner at Los Palmas (our Sunday night tradition—a good one) with Husband and he said that he doubted very much I was alone in how I felt about this, so if you’re a preacher’s wife, humor me by reading this and letting know what you think.

Here goes:

I struggle with gossip. As much as the next girl—I really do. But I don’t think it’s the same kind of struggle for me as it is for most girls. I think the fact that I’m a preacher’s wife makes it harder for me than it should be.

Bear with me.

What most people don’t know about preacher’s wives is that close relationships don’t come easy to us. I don’t know if it’s in the How To Act Around Your Preacher’s Wife For Dummies book or if preachers’ wives just have an ugly green alien aura about them that repels people, but generally speaking, I think it’s hard for us girls to form close, intimate relationships with other women. I know you’re thinking I probably feel that way because I’m just socially awkward, and well, you’d be right, but I think it’s more than that. I think preachers’ wives crave real, solid friendships with other women with whom they can relate. They crave it because it’s a precious rarity for whatever reason.

Okay, what does this have to do with gossip?  Let’s think about why gossip is a struggle for girls in general. Because it gives us a feeling of power to know something other girls don’t know, because it makes us feel important, because it makes us feel popular, because we feel like it helps us make friends. Bingo. That last one is why I think preachers’ wives struggle with gossip.  It’s not a popularity trip for us, or just because we can’t shut up, necessarily. It’s because we’re so hungry for intimate conversation with someone we can sincerely call friend that we feel compelled to gossip, creating a counterfeit feeling that true, warm camaraderie is taking place. For me personally, I want so badly to hear, “Oh, I know just how you feel,” that I grasp for the one big thing we might have in common—which, in this scenario, is a general dislike for someone else, meaning my selfish desperation for intimate conversation is at some random person that’s not even here’s expense. (Ignore the horrendous grammar—blogging is for writing exactly how you would say it out loud to a girlfriend, right? But of course she’s just hypothetical for obvious reasons.)

I’m only a little bit bitter about not having close girlfriends that I can call up at 11 o’clock at night because I finally figured out how to clean my baseboards with dryer sheets or how to put my hair in a bun with a sock (all Pinterest inspired, of course). The beef that I have is with myself. How shallow does a girl have to be to fall prey to the temptation of gossip simply because she wants to feel close to someone other than her husband?

I guess I just want to know…am I the only one? Do other preacher’s wives struggle in this way or am I just a freak? My husband thinks I’m not the only one. I’d like to think I’m not the only one. And if I’m not, I just want to make you—preacher’s wife reader—aware that just because we’re relationship deprived (in our heads, anyway) doesn’t mean it’s okay to instigate fun, intimate conversation at someone else’s expense, no matter how substantiated it makes us feel.

I’m determined to ask myself, with any given information I’m tempted to share, three questions:

  1. Is it true?
  2. Is it necessary?
  3. Is it kind?

If not, it’s not my business to share it—preacher’s wife or not.

After all, Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Now that I’m aware of the temptation, maybe that whole keep-your-mouth shut mental note will get easier.

Thoughts?

Aug 29 2012

How To Be A Prissy Girl (In A Good Way)

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Now that I’ve perhaps caught your attention, let me start by saying that I know I’ve been a naughty girl and neglected my blog and I’m filled with all kinds of sorrowful and regretful feelings about that. While my negligence probably doesn’t bother anyone else one iota, it bothers me and so I hereby promise that I will try to write more often (doesn’t sound like a very binding oath, does it? Well, take it for what it’s worth; a heartfelt desire accompanied with determination).

A little update on the Giselbachs Jr.:

This summer vacation has been one that begs a vacation from the vacation after the whole thing’s over. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but let’s just say it’s been hectic. For one thing, my husband and I have been traveling all over the country this summer for speaking engagements (WONDERFUL obligations for which we ask God and with which we are frequently blessed).  We also took our youth group at Riverbend (www.RiverbendFamily.com) to a week of challenging Christian leadership training at Horizons at FHU. It was a blessing for them as well as for us.

Also, I was given the serendipitous opportunity to be in a play this summer (Fiddler on the Roof), in which I got to play my favorite character, Hodel. It was one of those dream-come-true adventures because I’ve always wanted to play this role, and because I had to sing solos, which is a mountainous feat for someone who is terrified of singing in front of people. I’m glad I did it.

My friend Season, who works as a full-time missionary in China, came to visit me for a few weeks during her summer in America, which was absolutely magnificent. She’s always a trooper running around right along with us like the headless chickens that we are, never complaining about our frenzied lifestyle and always supporting me, bringing laughter, encouragement, and a shoulder to cry on if needed. She’s back in China now and I miss her something awful.

But the highlight of our summer happened about a week ago, when our elders paid for us to attend Polishing the Pulpit (www.polishingthepulpit.com), a week-long all-you-can-eat buffet of spiritual food for growth-hungry Christians. For more on why this event is one you just can’t miss, read this.

While there, I got to hear some amazing lessons on a variety of topics—all of which happened to be extremely relevant to my day-to-day walk with God (that’s because there’s like a million choices of classes to attend at this event. Seriously, you need go).  One of the classes I was able to attend was entitled “Being Our Husband’s Priscilla,” taught by Mrs. Donna Faughn. I was excited to hear this lady speak because she is a well-known public speaker for women AND a former English teacher. She is also the mother of Adam Faughn, who writes a practical, spiritually invigorating blog located at www.faugnfamily.com (Ben and I often read his blog together for our daily devotional time at night).

The class was great because I felt like I was introduced face-to-face to a female Bible character that, in my humble opinion, is an unsung heroine in many ways.  The class went by quickly because I was fascinated by the character study and by the lessons I drew from her. That was on Tuesday, and, as luck would have it (or maybe providence), the church with which my husband and I worshiped the next night was doing a summer series on women of the Bible. To my delight, the woman of discussion that night happened to be (you guessed it) Priscilla. Now that I’ve taken notes on two lectures on Miss Priss (thus the title of this post—yes, I nickname everything), I am now the Priscilla expert. Okay, maybe not quite an expert, but, just the same, allow me to share three things I learned about her, and why it matters to me:

1.     She was involved.  For Priscilla, Christianity wasn’t just part of her routine. It wasn’t something she did—it was who she was. Yes, she was there meeting with the saints when people were expected to be there, but that was only a small part of her ministry and service.  She didn’t allow extreme hardships to discourage her, as many do today. Imagine being forced out of your homeland and into a different country just because of your heritage. Despite Claudius’ decree that all Jews leave Rome, Priscilla didn’t let it affect her negatively. She and her husband, Aquila (love how they rhyme—very Dr. Suess of them to get married and all), moved to Rome and picked right back up where they left off. They continued to serve God passionately and they continued to work together making money as tent-makers, which is likely what drew Paul to them (Acts 18:1-2). Even though their business is mentioned, it’s obvious that Priscilla was more interested in the soul-saving business than the tent-making business. She was a seeker of opportunities to share the gospel with others. She and her husband used everything they had and every talent they possessed for evangelism. And speaking of her husband, I love how Priscilla was such a team player. Every time she is mentioned in the Bible, her name is side-by-side with her husband’s.

2.     She was willing to step out of her comfort zone. How comfortable do you think it was to step aside with Apollos, probably bringing him into her home, and correcting him for teaching what was, unbeknownst to him, false doctrine (Acts 18:26)? I would imagine it took a lot of courage, and even more than that, tact. Speaking of having people in her home, we know that she was a woman of hospitality. After all, the church met in her house (I Corinthians 16:19). I would like to think that I could have the whole church over to my house for worship every week without stressing out, but let’s be honest, I’d probably end up being a Martha (Luke 10:38-42). But we’re not talking about her. Priscilla welcomed people into her home, and she was obviously willing to be flexible when necessary. When Paul up and left Corinth to sail to Syria, she and Aquila packed up and went with him (Acts 18:18). Here’s a couple who was not so tied down to worldly obligations that they couldn’t transition in a moment if it meant doing something helpful for the kingdom. She went so far as to risk her life (Romans 16:3-4)—though we’re not sure how—for the cause. Life-threatening courage is anything but comfortable.

3.    She was a teacher of good things (Titus 2:3). Priscilla’s heart didn’t have anything to do with the mundane boundaries of the day-to-day grind. Her heart was all about eternity, and how to help as many people as possible to get there. She partnered herself with her husband to support him and aid him in his work and in his evangelism, which were intertwined—one and the same. She was a beacon of light in a society of darkness and extreme idolatry.

Modern day Priscillas are so rare, aren’t they? But if you think about it, a church simply cannot be the church you read about in Acts 2 unless it contains people like Priscilla. Priscilla makes me look at my own life with shame and resolve. I want to be like her. If my last name wasn’t so ridiculous, I’d probably name my future daughter Priscilla. (I can hear the sing-song voices of mocking children now: “Prissy Gissy wants a Kissy…” Why is it that rhyming words make insults so much more intimidating when you’re in the third grade?)

Anyway, if you think of it, pray for me as I strive to be more of a Prissy girl—in the Biblical sense, of course. :)